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Maya Angelou returned to this idea throughout her life, and it has become the most quoted sentence of her body of work. As a poet and memoirist who wrote extensively about dignity and humiliation, she was describing something she had observed closely: emotional memory outlasts factual memory.

It is a demanding standard. It means that tone, attention and restraint matter more than the cleverness of what you say. Most people cannot recall the content of a difficult conversation years later — but they remember precisely whether they were treated with respect.

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